


Unleashed

by bluehawthorn



Series: Axis [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ben Solo is very good with his mouth, Bendemption, Everybody Lives, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fantasizing, Finn gives good hugs, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Meadow Sex, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, POV Rey, Porn with a little bit of Plot, Post Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rendemption, Reylo - Freeform, The Force Ships It, Vaginal Sex, references to masturbation, romantic smut, sexual awakening, sexual healing, space porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 01:30:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14033226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluehawthorn/pseuds/bluehawthorn
Summary: While Rey helps the Resistance build its new base, Ben is facing growing suspicions about his work subverting the First Order from within. After a few weeks of being apart the Force reconnects them and they must make some important decisions about their future. (You know, after they have sex in a meadow, as you do when you're reunited)





	Unleashed

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read as a oneshot just for the character development and smut, but is also part three of the Axis series, which begins with Bright Enough to Rival Stars (POV Rey) and continues with Equinox (POV Ben). This one also includes Rey's POV of the smutty bits of Equinox, just for fun and because I like the idea of her pining for him a bit.

Rey is distracted, fumbling through her duties. It's been a over a fortnight since the Force last connected her and Ben, and she hates to admit it, but she's begun to watch for him everywhere. She is constantly waiting for that tug in the Force that signals he will appear before her.

Her feelings for him are confusing. When she found out that he had declared himself Supreme Leader after Snoke, she had been furious and heartbroken. After all she risked going to him, opening her mind and body to him...to have him not only fail to return to the Light but to become the face of the Dark Side, the leader of the brutal First Order...

But then he had asked her to believe, pleading in his eyes and voice, that he was using his position to undermine the First Order, dismantle them from the inside. And eventually she did believe him, mostly at least, after the proof he'd sent Leia. 

Still, there was a small part of her that kept asking, _can I trust him? He is the Supreme Leader of half the galaxy now. Can he truly be capable of resisting that much power...wielding it for good rather than seizing it for himself? ___

____

Even after his actions had reignited her hope she still kept a small part of herself tucked away, preparing for disappointment in case he was unable to follow this through. She knows enough about his past the know what he is up against. She has felt for herself the howling tumult of pain and anger he carries inside of him. It seems to be lessening, at least in part because of their connection, but she still has her fears.

She puts down the wrench she has been fiddling with and rocks back from her haunches into sitting, crossing her legs beneath her. She sighs, realizing that no matter how much she fights it, he is all she can think about today (and most days). 

This yearning for him has been building the longer they are apart and it aches inside her. She decides to indulge herself in her memories of him, which she has been replaying in her mind often of late. She's due for a break and she's not getting much of anything done anyways she tells herself, and allows herself to drift off into her thoughts.

*****  
First, there was the time he told her the First Order was coming for them on Crait. After he explained his plan to save them, he had once again stretched out his arm to her, just like in Snoke's throne room. At first, she couldn't decide if she wanted to go to him or back away. 

Not that there was far to go. She was cornered in her chamber on Crait, which wasn't much more than an indentation made into rock salt with a sleeping platform built into it.

At least that was sizeable. She tends to move quite a bit in her sleep, especially lately when her dreams have become particularly _vivid. ___

____

"Rey," Ben had said, in that low quiet voice that always makes her belly drop in a way she resents herself for. She should have better control over herself.

It's not as though she isn't used to suppressing her urges or taking care of them herself. Jakku was not exactly abundant in appropriate or desirable romantic and sexual partners. But with him, it's...different. She wants him in a way she's never felt before, primal and undeniable.

"I can't stop thinking about you." Somehow the timbre of his voice managed to make this one sentence full of both raw feeling and sensual promise. 

Desire reared up, shot through her like she'd been stunned. All she could do was look at him, frozen where she stood. Eventually she heard herself say quietly, "I think about you too."

This emboldened him and he had asked if he could touch her. He took her hands in his and even that small touch, even though he was half a galaxy away, resounded through her whole body.

And then he was kissing her, his full lips pressed against hers and his tongue in her mouth. Despite herself, it was exactly what she wanted and she wanted _more more more. ___

____

But then he was gone.

*****  
She got _more _though, more than she could have dreamed or imagined, the next time the Force connected them. She was bathing herself in the hotsprings of Crait, luxuriating in the privacy, the quiet, the heat and the endlessness of the water.__

____

She remembers the shock of seeing him, the urge to cover herself. But then her uncertainty washed away like so much debris in an almost immediate wave of sureness and desire. This time, she held out her hand to him.

She remembers him striding toward her with such unstoppable purpose, stripping out of his clothes. There was that raw power and honed grace in his physicality that made her feel like her core was made of warm honey, golden and melting.

He lifted her, like he had on their first night, and she wrapped herself around him and took him inside her. He pressed her against the wall of the cave under the streaming water, fucking her with the same urgency she felt surging through her.

She remembers his hand around the back of her neck, his teeth on her throat. And there was that look of awed victory on his face when she came, like he had singlehandedly discovered an uncharted star system or turned the tide of a fight.

She surprised herself with how quickly her body had responded again, another climax tearing through her as he found his. She remembers looking into his eyes and thinking how singular their connection was, that they could share so much without speaking a word. 

And then she was alone again. 

*****  
The battle on Crait had come and gone, with Ben's plan allowing them to strike a blow against the First Order and escape almost entirely unscathed. Using her abilities with the Force had allowed the plan to work but had left her drained in a way she'd never experienced before - not even when she had worn her body ragged with long days of scavenging in the desert heat.

They landed on a small Outer Rim planet where Leia's allies had prepared a place for them. Leia had seen her exhaustion and given her a room of her own to sleep in. She had tried to refuse but was certainly glad that the General had insisted when suddenly Ben appeared in her bed, dressed only in black sleeping pants.

Despite their lovemaking in the hotsprings and before that in his chambers on the Finalizer, he had been so tentative that night, so careful not to push or crowd her. Granted, he must have seen her fatigue. 

Even so, she had yearned for his touch, having him so near to her in the dark. When she had asked him to hold her he had obliged immediately, reaching out and encircling her in his strong arms, dragging her against his chest. The dark had become more complete in the shadow of him, the smooth planes of him only inches from her face. 

The smell of him that close had made her swoon into a blissful semi-conscious state. _Damn him. _She'd never swooned before in her whole kriffing life.__

____

____

Of course in the end it would have had to be Kylo bloody Ren who made her swoon. Murderous heir to Darth Vader.

Not that she thinks of him that way very often anymore. She smiles, thinking of how ridiculous it all is. It's nearly as absurd that it's Ben Solo that she's swooning over - son of a princess and two galaxy-famous Resistance Generals and nephew of Luke Skywalker, legendary Jedi Master. 

But regardless of all that, when she's with him he's only human. Painfully so. He's deeply troubled, but often also surprisingly thoughtful and kind. 

It doesn't make her forget his history of violence, but as she comes to understand how terribly he was abused by Snoke, she also comes to understand how strong he must be to have any connection left to the Light at all, to be capable of the care he shows her. He's battered but not broken.

And the truth is, despite who he is or what he's done, he makes her feel safe. It's an unfamiliar feeling, and she can't help but burrow into it. That night especially she had longed for some measure of comfort after all that had happened. Her limbs had been heavy and nearly unmovable but as he held her, desire had spread through her slow and syrupy. 

She had wanted him and why not? He couldn't tell where they were, even had he wanted to betray them again. 

And anyways, any caution she still felt had been forgotten when he'd moved inside her so gently...when he'd held her steady until her orgasm burst in her like a rare desert rain, powerful and cleansing and sweet...when she'd fallen asleep nestled against him. 

*****  
She realizes her lips are parted and her breath quickened, and imagines how she must look. If anyone was to come around the corner, they'd be sure to wonder what she was thinking about, her expression vague and face flushed.

She shakes her head in an attempt to clear it. She isn't getting any work done, so she may as well go to the mess hall and see if lunch is ready. Food, which she's never had such easy access to, is the only thing with any hope of getting her thoughts off Ben. 

She thinks of Finn and Poe, and how they poke fun at her appetite. She can eat as much as both of them combined. Maybe they'd be there too. Food and their company combined had an even better chance of turning her mind in a new, more fruitful direction. 

Not that her memories of Ben weren't fruitful when she was alone in her bunk at night, coaxing herself to sleep with a hand between her thighs... Then, they were very fruitful indeed, she thought, smiling to herself.

*****  
She does her best to submerge herself in the seemingly endless busyness of setting up the new Resistance base. Sometimes she even manages to forget, for a little while. 

But still, she's utterly grateful and relieved when one night she is out in the meadow behind the base at twilight, practicing with Luke's lightsaber - or maybe it's hers now; she's not really sure as he never touches the thing himself - and her surroundings go quiet, all the sound rushing out of the world in that now familiar way. It's him. It's finally him. 

His face is so apprehensive that it almost stops her in her tracks, but the buoyant joy she feels at seeing him has already overtaken her and she is running at him. She flings her arms around him and he catches her, holding her off the ground and burying his face in her neck. He takes a deep breath against her skin, as though dragging in her scent. It makes her shiver, her body already responding to his.

He places her carefully back on her feet and she looks up at him. She can feel the emotion roiling off him, and concern blooms in her. "What's wrong?"

He shakes his head and doesn't speak. She reaches up and cups his face and he leans his cheek into the touch. "Ben," she says more emphatically. "Tell me."

He says very quietly, watching her, "I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me."

She is wholly perplexed by this. "Was there a reason for you to think that?"

He looks straight at her, his expressive face showing so much while also remaining mostly expressionless. His features are a tragedy of subtleties. "No. It was just so long and I worried that things might have changed."

"Have they changed for you?"

At that his face clears and he reaches out to take her hand. "No. Not at all. Of course not."

"Then why would they have for me?"

He drops her hand but not her gaze. "Because...I'm a monster." She cringes, remembering telling him that. She was so sure of it at the time. 

"I always expect you to remember that and not want to be with me anymore," he says almost matter of factly. His eyes looked resigned, as though he's simply waiting for her to reject him.

She sighs and retakes his hand as well as the other one in her own, looking up at him. "Ben, I never forget who and what you are." He remains stoic but his shoulders slump a little.

"All of it. The whole picture. The good and the bad, the Dark and the Light. Your struggle and your strength. The choices that were taken from you and the ones you've made of your own will and the ones that fall somewhere in between. It's...complicated, but I no longer see you as a monster." 

He looks down at her silently, his face less pained and almost hopeful. "To me you've become...many things. But not a monster. Not anymore." She hopes she is getting across what she means to say. He smiles slightly, his eyes now glistening with relief, so she thinks she must have. 

His arms come around her and his mouth descends on hers. He kisses her thoroughly, as though his body is trying to communicate something that words cannot.

Eventually he pulls away and she murmurs her discontent, but he quickly removes his cloak, laying it out on the ground. The grass is knee high all around them, but his cloak is heavy and flattens it down. Ben sits down on it and pulls her down onto him.

She climbs astride his lap and immediately his strong hands are everywhere, making her body feel limned with light. She tugs at his bottom lip with her teeth and then resumes kissing him. The taste of him makes her moan into his mouth. She missed this.

Eventually she pushes him down onto his back so that she can feel more of his body against hers. The smell of the grass is fresh and sweet all around them. 

His skillful fingers are pulling the buns out of her hair so that it falls down around her face. Her arms are braced on either side of his head as she holds herself up to gaze down at him.

His sensual lips are swollen from kissing her. His dark hair is a beautiful mess. And his eyes - they look nearly black in the fading light but also somehow bright. They snag on something deep within her that she still cannot fully name. 

She can see the breadth of his feelings for her reflected in them and it makes her breath come harder. She needs him _now. ___

____

____

She sits back onto him, her thighs over his hipbones. She starts to pull at his waistband and somehow they manage to shed his boots and pants and then hers without getting up, helping each other pull them off. It's growing cold and so she doesn't take off her tunic but he takes off his.

The feel of his skin under hers where they are now both bare from the waist down is warm and glorious. She positions herself over his cock so that she can feel the hard length of it press into her. It is hot and pulsing and the feel of it against her makes her shudder with want. 

She moves her hips back and forth so that he slides against her wetness and he lets out a sharp exhale, his fingers tightening on her thighs. She can feel the blood pooling in her clit, feel it swelling with the friction her movements is generating. 

She is ready for him already, arousal hot and bright flowing up her spine, and she rises so that she can bring him inside her. He stops her though, his hands holding her in place. 

She looks up at him questioningly, wondering if she's done something wrong, but his face only shows the adoration she's yet to get used to from him. His hands are on her waist and he's pulling her up further along his body. She's not sure what he wants, but he keeps guiding her up until she's straddling his chest.

He doesn't stop and she is beginning to get an idea of what his intentions are. She feels a bit nervous and almost pulls back, but his eyes are hazy with desire and she feels curious enough to suppress her anxiety about this new kind of intimacy and allow him to nudge her up until his face is between her thighs.

"Rey," he breathes, and she can feel the warm dampness of his words against her skin. "You're gorgeous."

He delves into her with his tongue, grazing her clit with the tip and she jumps the tiniest bit with the intensity of it. Always so responsive to her every reaction, he explores the rest of her instead, letting her adjust to the sensations. 

He eventually moves back up to her clit, but very gently. It doesn't take long for her to not only get used to it but to begin finding it _incredible. _It also doesn't take her long to get used to being perched above his face like this. The way he gives to her so generously makes her feel like a new version of herself, some kind of sensual creature given over to instinct.__

____

____

She captures his gaze, his eyes the only part of him visible between her legs. She starts to run her hands over her own body. She's so inflamed she doesn't feel the cold anymore and she pulls her tunic up over her head, baring herself completely. 

She slides her hands over her stomach, cups and kneads her own breasts. Then she runs them up over her neck and under her hair, pulling it up off her shoulders. 

This is like nothing she's ever felt before. She feels a bit feral, like one of the wild little sand cats on Jakku. She lets him watch, his hungry staring nearly as palpable as a touch as he continues to pleasure her. 

He is swirling his tongue around her clit until she's nearly sobbing. She arches toward him and her head falls back. Through the fog of her pleasure she can see that the sky is a rich vibrant blue as dusk falls around them. She wishes he could see it too.

Here and there a small golden light blossoms and streaks a path through the air. She's heard of creatures that do this to find their mates - firebugs she thinks they are called. She smiles in wonder for a moment and thinks of her and Ben, finding their way to each other across this wide galaxy, like small lights in the dark calling to each other.

She returns her full attention to what he is doing to her. This is the second time he's put his mouth on her, she thinks. Next time they are together she intends to return the favour. The thought sends a sharp spike of lust through her and she allows herself to fall forward, supporting herself on her hands above his head.

Ben growls beneath her and wraps his hands around her thighs, pulling her flush against him. He's lightly sucking at her and it's so overwhelming she can't help but buck a little against his face. He suckles her even more passionately when she does, and encouraged, she rubs herself more insistently against his mouth, taking her pleasure. 

Her clit is like a lit fuse, and she knows that any second now it will set her alight. It's very tempting to fuck his talented, lush mouth to her climax but wants to come apart with him inside her. 

She pulls away and he protests, but she quickly climbs down him and sheathes him hard and fast inside her. She rides him with all her strength and his hands come up to guide her hips and he is thrusting up to meet her. 

They are so perfect together, their bodies so attuned to each other, she thinks. They were meant to fuck each other, to fight together, to help each other heal and fulfil their destinies. 

She remembers again that Ben had once told her she needed to let the past die to become who she was meant to be. He had been partly right. But mostly what she needed was this. She needed Ben to unleash this part of her. More than anything needing to die, something in her had needed to be born and he has catalyzed that for her. With her. They have done it together.

With him helping her to awaken to herself in this way she was becoming something entirely new; something much more powerful than what she'd been before. Every time they are together she feels her access to the Force growing stronger. Her passion was opening doorways in her that had been locked until now. 

She wonders for a moment why the Jedi didn't allow attachments if they could be so powerful in this way. She made a note in her mind to ask Luke about this. Luckily she doesn't intend to follow the old ways in their entirety. Here too she was becoming something new.

She's so primed that she can feel her slickness on his thighs and spread up onto his belly. She is slamming herself down onto him as he pistons up into her. She is crying out again and again and she doesn't care if the whole Resistance can hear her. Let them. 

Ben pulls her down into a fierce kiss with a hand in her hair and she finds an angle that with every slide presses her clit against his pubic bone. She thrusts her hips forward a few more times, his girth slipping in and out of her and the head of him hitting her cervix each time in a burst of sensation. 

Then, before she can even decide if she is ready to let go, she is splintering into particles of light and colour, and he is following right behind her, groaning into her neck. She can feel his hot seed as it floods her. As she feels them both coming together, the Force explodes out of her in ripples like a wind, the grass blowing down around them in concentric circles before Ben can steady her and it stops. 

She really does need to learn more control but for now she's exhilarated by the power of it. Each time they are together it frees her. The more completely she abandons herself with this man the more she can feel her strength grow.

She collapses to the side of him and after he turns to kiss her temple they both just lie there for a while, intertwined with each other. Rey watches the sky fill with stars, and she tries to describe to him the beauty she sees. There are still very few sounds except their breathing which is ragged at first but slowly smoothes. The insects that were singing in the tall grass before Ben's arrival are still quieted by the way the bond mutes all sounds other than the ones they make themselves. 

She savours this moment of feeling truly happy. She has always thought of herself as a relatively content and positively dispositioned person, despite all the adversity she's faced. But her loneliness has always been there, humming in the background. And lately of course there is the constant sense of threat always at the edges of her consciousness. 

But right now those too are quieted. She feels suffused with a sated, pure kind of joy and she just lets herself luxuriate in it for as long as she can. Ben wraps himself around her, keeping her warm.

*****  
It cannot last forever. After some time passes, Ben sits up and reaches for her, drawing her up with him. They both begin pulling on their clothes.

When they're both dressed, they sit down across from each other on his cloak. Ben's face is a bit drawn as he begins to speak. "I cannot stay with the First Order much longer. A few more days maybe, at most. The Generals...they suspect what I'm doing. They are having me watched."

She knew this was coming, but it still makes her fearful. "Where will you go?"

"Well", he says haltingly, "I know it would be difficult...but I want to come to you."

"To the Resistance?" She'd both hoped for and dreaded this.

He nods, but he looks weary. "I know I can't just join the cause, but I thought maybe..." He trails off and they sit in silence for a few minutes, both caught in thought.

She realizes she needs to tell him what she knows, but it hurts to say it aloud, as though saying it makes it real. "I've...made some inquiries. There is a lot of controversy about taking you back. Leia isn't hiding that you're helping us anymore, but most people still don't trust that you've changed, and there's so much anger after what you've done."

He nods as though he understands and expected this. She continues. "I'm not sure they'll let me see you. I'm not sure what they'll do to you. There are a lot of people here who want to see you dead. Luke, he..."

He cuts her off sharply, a myriad different emotions playing quickly across his features. "Luke is back?"

She chastises herself internally for slipping up in this way. She had not wanted to tell Ben this part yet and had let herself get too comfortable and unguarded. 

Nor has she told Luke that the Force is still connecting her and Ben, even though she longs to ask him about how to control the bond, if such a thing is possible. She knows that their relationship - uncle and nephew, master and student, figureheads of the Light and Dark - is strained, to say the least.

She sighs deeply, accepting that she must tell him everything. "He is. I returned to Ach-To soon after Crait, to give him one last chance to come with me. When I told him that you had turned, he agreed. I think...I think he wanted to be able to keep an eye on you. In case..."

Ben nods, curtly. He likely knows that Luke wouldn't just trust him after everything, would feel responsible for him in this way.

She takes another deep breath and blurts out the next part before she loses her courage. "He's been training me."

Ben's body stiffens. After a moment, his jaw clenched, he nods again.

"What does Luke say about me coming to the Resistance?"

She looks at him apologetically but tells the truth. "That you cannot be trusted, you're unstable. That we'd have to find a way to keep you under control and that would be nearly impossible with your strength with the Force, so exile would be a better choice."

His voice strained, he asks, "And my mother? What does she say?"

"She...I think she wants you back more than anything. But she also knows it won't be easy."

They sit in silence again. There are no real answers here, and they both know it. At the very least Leia will be forced to lock him away at first. She doesn't tell him this part, but it hasn't escaped her notice that the General is pushing forward with building a cell compound as one of the priority projects at the new base.

And she hasn't asked, but she knows the reason that Leia has had her testing each remaining Resistance member for how susceptible they are to Force manipulation is to find out who might be able to guard Ben if he returns. There are a few strong minded individuals - Poe and Finn and Rose among them - but she still wonders how Leia can think they could hold Ben against his will. 

She must be hoping in part that he will cooperate. Which Rey is sure he would, but at what cost?

She finds she cannot think about this any longer. She just wants to see him, in the flesh. "Maybe...maybe we could go away for a few days, to be together before...before we have to decide anything?"

He looks at her intently for a moment and then says carefully, "We could run away forever you know. Leave this all behind."

She shakes her head emphatically. "No. I can't. There is still a lot of work to do, to bring down the First Order. They need me."

She begins to tremble as she even thinks it, but she knows she has to try to set him free. "But you. Maybe you should run." 

His eyes go very sad as he watches her but she forces herself to speak. "I used to think you needed to pay for what you've done, but you've already made amends at great risk to yourself and I've seen into your mind...I know that living with what you've done is punishment enough. I don't want to see you caged Ben. Or worse."

He is very still. "If you want me to go then I will. I know it would be easier for you if I left."

She grabs his hand, squeezes it between hers. "Of course I don't want that! I want to be with you. I just..."

His sadness softens at that and he looks more resolved. "There is no good choice. But at least if I turn myself in to the Resistance I'll be near you. And if I don't turn myself in, I'll never be done running. Once they realize the full scope of what I've done, the First Order will pursue me as long as they exist. If I turn myself in to the Resistance, at least I'll have their protection."

She takes a deep breath, relief rising to the surface even though many other emotions still boil beneath it. She doesn't want to only ever be able to see him when the bond allows it, never knowing whether any time might be their last.

He continues, his voice quiet, his thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. "Who knows...maybe they'll continue to let me help. I am a valuable asset to them, with all I know."

She nods. That is her hope too and she knows that Leia shares it. Still, she's not ready to set all this in motion. "Ben, can we? Can we leave for a few days and just go somewhere to be together? Before you turn yourself in?"

"Yes. I would really like that," he replies, his lips curving into a small smile.

She feels a wave of elation but then the reality of it hits her and she feels almost immediately deflated. "I'll have to sneak away. They'll try to stop me. Finn and Poe I can handle, but Chewie... Oh Force, Chewie will never understand."

His face is full of remorse. "Tell them you're coming to get me. To bring me in. If General Org - if my mother authorizes it, Chewie won't say anything. And then in a few days, I'll come back with you."

"Where will we go?"

He looks almost shy again for a moment. "I've always wanted to go to Naboo, now that I know of my family's history there. It's where my grandparents were married, in secret."

She is honoured that he'd want to share this with her and she smiles, encouraging him to continue. "When I learned about their story, I researched extensively and my grandmother had a lake estate. I think it's not only where they married, but where they fell in love. It's...abandoned. It has been for a while now. I'd like to take you there, if you are willing."

"I'd really like that," she replies, feeling her heart swell. A smile spreads across his face and he glows in the near dark, the trees that flank the meadow a serrated shadow behind him. 

"Comm me from the Falcon. Channel 7587215. I'll send you coordinates. Can you remember that?"

"Of course," she says.

And just like that the decision has been made. They sit together, the weight of it settling on them both. After a moment he pulls her into his lap, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head. She leans against him, resting her head on his shoulder. They stay like that for a long time, basking in each other as the darkness grows deeper around them. 

She's not sure how long it is before he fades away, the Force cushioning her short fall to the ground. She stays there for a while longer, listening to the sounds of the meadow return, before she gets up and heads to her bunk to try and get some sleep.

*****  
The next day she pulls Leia aside and tells her everything that she doesn't already know - her growing feelings for Ben and his for her, their plan. The General listens quietly and doesn't seemed shocked really, as Rey had thought she might. Instead she seems...almost pleased. She seems to trust Rey and believe that Ben will indeed come back with her.

Not for the first time, Rey stands in awe of this woman, who has grown legendary for good reason. She senses that despite all that Ben has taken from her, Leia still simply wants him to be happy. 

When she tells Leia about Naboo, the older woman smiles in a way that Rey can only describe as wistful, and tells her that if she wants to make her rendezvous with Ben that she had better leave later that day. She tells her not to worry about the others, that she will take care of them and prepare everyone for their return.

Rey nods and finds herself grinning, spontaneously grabbing Leia's hands in her own. For a moment Leia grows still, and Rey thinks she may have overstepped. But then the General is squeezing her hands and saying, "May the Force be with you." Her gravelly voice and her wide brown eyes are filled with warmth.

"And with you," Rey says back, her own voice filled with the gratitude she is feeling to this tiny, remarkable, wise and wonderful woman. Ben's mother. Ben has more of her in him than she thinks either of them know. She hopes desperately that they will somehow reconcile, despite everything.

Leia releases her and says, "Now go." Rey nods and then turns, jogging toward the barracks.

*****  
A little while later Rey is packing a bag when she senses someone behind her. She turns and winces internally when she sees Finn looking at her with eyes full of hurt and betrayal. "You're leaving?"

She sits down on her bunk and gestures for him to sit next to her. How can she explain all this to him?

"I am, but only for a few days."

She takes a breath to steady herself and tells Finn where she's going. He stands up quickly, almost hitting his head on the bunk above hers. "Rey, what do you mean you're going to meet him? He's a murderer...a monster." He's pacing jerkily in front of her, as though unsure what to do with his body and this new information.

"Finn please. I know what he's done. Trust me, I know. I know what we saw him do to Han. But he's also still Han and Leia's son. Leia herself has told me that Snoke was the true monster. He was inside Ben's mind from the time he was a boy, manipulating him."

Finn is still looking at her disbelievingly but he sits back down so she continues, hoping he will listen. "Ben thought his parents had forsaken him and that Luke had turned on him...tried to kill him even. Luke himself told me the story of that night, and accepts a lot of responsibility for what happened to Ben."

Finn is frowning, but she can see that he is paying careful attention to what she says now. "And then someone in the Senate revealed that Darth Vader was Luke and Leia's father, his grandfather. Ben heard it second hand and he thought he'd been lied to his whole life. It was all a misunderstanding and Snoke took advantage of Ben's pain, convincing him that Vader's work was his to finish."

"You keep calling him Ben as though that is still his name. It's not," Finn says flatly. "He's one of them Rey. You don't know what they put me through, what they do to people."

Rey looks at Finn beseechingly. He doesn't return her gaze. "I'm not trying to deny what he's done or what he's been part of. I'm really not. But he's Ben Solo to me Finn. When he killed Snoke something changed in him."

A few minutes pass in tense silence as Finn seems to process all this. Even though its difficult and she's not sure how he'll respond, Rey decides to tell him more. She figures that after all they've been through, Finn deserves the truth. 

She continues quietly, looking down at the floor. "We're connected Finn. He and I. We see each other through the Force. Snoke claimed he connected us but I don't believe that's true. It didn't stop when he died. I think it's the will of the Force. Through the bond I know...I know he's not Kylo Ren anymore."

Finn shifts uncomfortably but his posture is softening. Rey pushes on, "I know this must be incredibly hard to hear, and I'm sorry, but I've grown to have feelings for him. Please try to understand. So much has happened..." She's not sure she can share much more. 

Instead she makes a final plea to her friend, turning towards him on the bunk. "When we come back here there is going to be a lot for us to face. I will understand completely if you can't, but if you can, I could use your support." 

Finn finally turns toward her. She can sense that his thoughts and emotions are churning, but he searches her face and then nods. Finn is so affable and earnest that sometimes she forgets how strong he is. How brave and selfless. 

"I'll need some time Rey. To think about all this. But I'll try."

"I understand," she replies, laying a hand on Finn's arm. "Thank you, for listening. You know how much I value our friendship, don't you?"

Finn takes a deep breath and then nods, yes. He even smiles at her, just the tiniest bit.

Relief floods her. Rey is glad that Finn has his newly budding romance with Rose to soften the blow of all this a little. She knows that he had once thought that the two of them might be together and she loves Finn and can see how attractive he is, but she just doesn't feel that way for him. 

Maybe she would have, had it not been for the bond with Ben. They'll never know now.

Finn gets up slowly, adjusting his leather jacket. Rey stands up too and even though she knows it may be too soon, she moves toward him tentatively to give him a hug, giving him plenty of time to pull away.

He hesitates for a moment, but then puts his arms around her and pulls her into one of his signature embraces. How a stormtrooper learned to express affection as openheartedly as Finn...to do _everything _as openheartedly as Finn...she'll never know. He's a very good hugger and she melts into him gratefully.__

____

____

"You'll be careful?" he says over her shoulder. 

"Of course," she replies, smiling. "Aren't I always?"

Finn snorts and releases her. He holds her at arms length for a moment, his hands wrapped around her biceps, and then he lets her go. He nods at her one last time and then turns and leaves the room.

Rey finishes packing, her thoughts jumbled. What a day it's been. 

*****  
Later, as she prepares to leave, Rey stands on the plank of the Falcon looking out over the base. She just wants to breathe it all in for a moment. 

She can feel her growing power burgeoning inside her. She is not the person she was just a few cycles ago when all this began, she reflects again. 

How could she have known that taking in a little orange and white droid on Jakku would have led to all this? She could never have imagined that all her waiting would have brought her here.

She can't look back. She can only look forward. She takes one more deep breath and closes the door of the Falcon, preparing herself to go to Ben.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments welcomed and appreciated. I own nothing from Star Wars.


End file.
